Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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