Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
