Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
