Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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