We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
