i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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