Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize