Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
