Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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