we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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