He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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