He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
