I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are these your boobs on my camera?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
