Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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