So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
