I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
