Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
