he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
