i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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