he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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