we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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