SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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