Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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