I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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