Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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