chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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