yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
