I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drake has all the answers
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
