Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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