Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
