Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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