why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
