what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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