I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
