That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
