Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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