i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Randomize
