I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
