Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
