fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Randomize
