Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize