nut hugger
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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