Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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