youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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