just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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