Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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