I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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