i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
