so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize