he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my shit smells like andre
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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