Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
