you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
