i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
