and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
