let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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