I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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