i think my tv is drunk
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
