This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
